You're beautiful

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"You are beautiful"
Are there any better words?
Any words that could make you feel better?
Make you feel loved..
If only for a moment?

How about I love you...

....alone....

Realizing I have no one,

I need someone.

No more secrets

I deleted my private blog today, the place I would go where no one knew my name.

 The place where those friendly folks had not a bad word to say to me.

Not a frown on their faces.

A place where they to had some bad things to say that maybe they didn't want people to know.

I decided I didn't need this place anymore.

I realized it's not my style to hide behind a name.

I behind a faceless image. 

It's not my style.

I'm better than that

I don't need the secret life anymore.

I simply need ME.

I think I'd found happy recently

I think it's something I don't think I need

For many a reason

I don't think that was the happy for me. 

I think I just need me

I think I've lost me

I think I'm going to work on bringing her back, because I miss her. 

Tired ..... of being....

-UW

Another Hollywood Cheater,

It saddened me today to hear the news that the lovely Kristen Stewart was caught cheating on Rob Pattz. Made me little heart break a little, I always thought they were a cute couple.

What pissed me off was that she was cheating on Rob Pattz.  Damn he is hawt and to make it all worse she was cheating with a married man.  ::shakesmyhead:: 

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He is pretty darn hawt though. I get it!


Best of wishes to all those involved, some counselor somewhere will be making some money on this one.  Marriage Counseling among other things?  Jack Nicholson can put on his Anger Management face and handle those who can't control their selves.

I'll spit in your breakfast,

I think we can all say we've felt like saying this once or twice.  Though I honestly don't think I've ever delivered breakfast to any bed. Nor have I ever received any breakfast in bed.  Sounds like extra work to me.  Because when it's over you know the bed is all crumby. You'll have to clean that shit all up.

Have a great weekend and keep that bed clean!

Go ahead, love everybody!

I'm pretty sure we all get to the point on occasion (every day for me). Where you'd love nothing more than to punch most people in the face.

Maybe I'm a different kind of woman, but most people piss me off. Daily!  Pretty much all people on the list there.

But how can you not appreciate something funny on a Friday!  I know I do. I refuse to let the world bother me too much today.  It's Friday you know and I plan to spend the night with a group of my favorite ladies.  Finally!

They're right, it's not just a pink ribbon

Was introduced to this project the other day while reading a blog of a lovely blogger.  It's a project for raising awareness of breast cancer. I fell in love instantly, the bravery and heart of these young survivors. It makes me realize this is just a small bump in the road for Mom. She's as brave as these women and young women.  She's as strong, stronger than anyone I've ever known.

Take a few minutes and check out his site. Keep in mind, it's a beautiful masterpiece but my also be inappropriate for all viewers.

Enjoy!!

the scar project

Product Review: No strings attached

My first  product review, at least I think it's my first review. I'm not even sure as to why I'm going to spend the time reviewing said product for you...  Before we go any further this is a women's product. For those squeamish men, you should probably direct your attention elsewhere, NOW!

So some months ago I decided I would inquire with my lady friends on this new thing I'd never heard of before. Now keep in mind I'm typically the last one to know about shit. lol. One day it's just in my face and I'm like Oh look at this new shit. That's awesome!! So I remember to google this product, called soft cup. I'd received a coupon in the mail or at the grocery store one day and was like, what the frak is this "soft cup" about? I'd no idea. Lost and forgotten I finally remembered to ask my friends. A few of them who'd heard of it or a similar product praised the HELL OUT OF IT!  I mean they love it and a few of them were more in love with the idea that it's "better for the environment" . So let's do this thing, shall we?!

It's "A unique, prove advancement in period protection"   <- I agree with this, because it's definitely an advancement for those who are patient. I will admit the first few times I tried it. Hell my first month of using it. I was ready to "toss the piece of shit out the window" <- My exact words. It frustrated me to no end. I hated insertion and removal. It was disgusting to "mess" up everything including myself.  Gawd it was awful. It took me multiple attempts to get it inserted properly. Don't misunderstand ladies, it really takes dedication to get the hang of this thing. Or at least it did for me.

And now that I've been  at it for a bit, it's not quite  as annoying to say the least.  I'm getting the  hang of  it if you will.  It's a strange little device but really has a lot of perks to it.

• It's safe for 12 hours, unlike the tampons
• OK for swimming and sports
• "Softcup loves making love..."  That's right ladies, they've designed this shit so we can have clean sex while Aunt Flo is in town.  All these years and they finally get that shit right? 
• It's "comfortable". You really can't feel it when it's inserted. 
• "Softcups have no wings, no strings . . . just freedom! " <-I pretty much love that catch phrase also.

I will say it's not as bad or scary as it seems. I know at first I was like, ehh... I'm soooo familiar with my tampons. I've been doing it for what seems like a lifetime. I know what to expect.  Of course you're going to have some leakage when you do it wrong, it's going to suck making a mess while removing and inserting, but when you realize you haven't had to hit the bathroom and go through the change for a whole 12 hours. Yea. I love it.  

There ya have it, my first product review. How'd I do?  Check out softcup

When will you return?

I heard your voice today

only in my head.

My messages made it your way

It was good to know you're still there

You're still thinking of me

You still remember me too.

I miss you still,

for as long as you're gone.

I'll miss you until I see you again

Till I hear your voice,

till I hear your laugh

Thinking of you always

Miss you until next time.

Why have you gone?

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I miss you, miss you so much.

I hate that you're gone.

No where in my sight.

I see you in my mind, smiling that smile.

I miss you in my head.

I miss you now that you're gone.

I hope to see you again.

I miss our talks

I miss YOU.

I want to sit with you,

I want to sit on the porch,

talking about girls,

smoking cigarettes.

Talking all the talking we can talk.

I miss you.

Bad Mommy?

I catch myself at times being a royal bitch. Well I'm typically always a bitch. One way or another, it's just going to happen. I'm at a point in my life where everything pisses me off and with few exceptions everyone pisses me off as well.

I'm beginning to worry though that some of my ways will rub off on my darling little girl.  Ya see I have a lot of...issues. Not in the sense that I'm neurotic or unbalanced or anything..

My main thing right now is my weight. Sure I am far from fat  as I tend to call myself.  But I've blown past my preferred weight.  With that I am not comfortable.  Few of you followers have read my struggles with my weight issues.  What bothers me most is, I'd hate for my daughter to ever say those things. I hate the idea that she could possible develop some eating disorder because of her Mommy's crazyness. 

There I said it... I think I could be slightly crazy.  Just a little!

Then there is of course my cleaning spells. I do it...constantly. If I'm home, I'm cleaning. I don't spend much time sitting on the couch. I don't spend much time being affectionate. That's another  issue. Is it bad that my child has or will develop issues with PDA or any form of A for that matter? Am I some how in the wrong for not being an affectionate person?  I do hug my child though.  It's how I've always been or how I tend to end up anyway.

It bugs me my child might grow up to be like me.... But why should it?

I have so many things that scare me, things I hear my child say she doesn't like either. She says she won't go back in the water, because of a "foot in mouth" moment I had the other night.  Yea so apparently it never registered with my darling that sharks are in the ocean. Even in Florida.  Yea, so now she's got a phobia with that.  Just like me. Spiders, snakes, certain foods.  Gawd! 

It's a vicious cycle... Isn't it?

Like we always said, We didn't want to grow up to be like our parents... It's inevitable isn't it.  They're going to grow up and be like us...Aren't they? 

I could sit and stress that issue.. But instead I think I will keep being myself and if I see my child reflecting any of my negativity. We set it straight then.  Till then I try and keep things to myself, things of the eating and weight issues. 

Till then I will keep being the same old rawking Mommy that I've always been. Because no matter what my issues might be, I'm a good Mom and that's all there is to it!!! 

I'm ready

I watched her pass by the mirror

One last glance to check her shoes

I'd seen them pass by already

They were glorious!  A deep red, like fresh blood

Very attractive addition to the silky smooth black and blue dress

Her short dark hair spiked and ready to go.

The eyeliner drawn perfectly around those blue eyes

I look awesome she thought to herself

Turning with a smile

It was time to head out for the night.

House work....Again?

How am I suppose to feel

When you look at me that way?

When you glare your glare?

Throw your fist in the air?

Kick the dust away?

I wasn't ready for this life again.

I wasn't prepared to wear that apron.

Those wooden shoes.

I didn't sign up for this!

Seems like a waste of time, to me.

I can't seem to find the point in a certain new 'friendship' when I'm the one putting forth all the new effort.  Whilst I attempt many times at conversation, which you grant me. 

But then of course turn the tables to a new day and hear nothing. 

Is it I've the one with all the words to speak?

I've the one with the life to share?

I'm the one who isn't afraid to be rejected?

Because I do and I'm not!

I'm living out out.

Hear me loud and clear.

I don't need you, ya know?

You may very well just be there.

The empty pool of nothing to offer this world.

Mean words I dare spit out here?

Yea, that's how I roll.

Now I wait.  If ya think you have time. One day...

Maybe I will still be there!
Yea, probably not!



A big F you

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They want to pass a law to make it unlawful for women to have abortions.  This goes beyond any insurance bullshit. This is a direct attack on the rights of Americans.  Not just American's but women everywhere. 

Don't compare me to a  fucking cow or a sheep and that I can't abort a dead fetus from my body.  Fuck you America and your attacks on my rights as a woman on my rights as an AMERICAN CITIZEN!

In the words of others, until you have a vagina don't tell me what I can do with mine!



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I was once ashamed,

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The news spread the word that they want it to where insurance companies are not covering the cost of women who have abortions or women who take birth control? Not the women, just the abortions and the birth control.

I wasn't aware, are  they trying to repopulate the country or something?  I had no idea. Count me out though. If they don't want to cover my birth control pills, they make other contraceptives.

Im not proud to admit it, but I've had an abortion. It wasn't the greatest experience. I am PRO CHOICE but I don't think it's right for women and people to take advantage and use this method as birth control.  Thats not good on our bodies.  For the bible thumpers, their god would not approve. It's murder they will tell you.  YOu know the stories. The awful tales...

Ever think about adoption?

Be pro choice, be pro life.  Just BE.  SMART

It's a housewife you want?

I'm sitting in this rut.

I just can't stand it.

It's making me nuts.

I look around and it's everywhere.

It's everything.

It's something.

It's nothing!

Tie the rag in my hair.

Wrap the apron around my waist.

I'm taking off these work clothes.

I'm retiring these work shoes.
I'm planting this ass in this home and never going into the  office.
I've stopped being everything.
I stopped when you stopped.
Now I sit in misery, looking around.
The same dusty floors,
the same clothes piled high.
Never a change,
never an exciting world to see.
Always the same house wife TV,
always the same smiling faces.
A face masked by that smile
while underneath they cry and suffer.
Good day world.
Fuck Off!